TechnologyThe Gentlemens Tour

iPhone or Android?

android vs iphone

In this world, there are many contentious debates …

Yankees or Red Sox?

Chicago Deep Dish or New York style pizza?

However, one of the biggest rivalries in the world today is the one between the two solitudes of the mobile world … iPhone or Android?

Both platforms have their strengths or weaknesses, and while picking one over the other won’t condemn you to a life of misery and sorrow, certain phones will suit different guys better.

Here’s where these brands do well … and fail hard:

photo by CC user Matthew Yohe on

 The iPhone: Steve Jobs’ greatest gift to the modern world OR an overpriced status symbol?

PRO: FaceTime makes it easier to wheel the long distance relationship with your Thai girlfriend

If you met a local girl during your time abroad, don’t feel like you have to break things off just because you are heading back to the other side of the world.

Unlike Android, you can use wi-fi internet to make a video phone call to anyone on the planet that possesses an Apple device. Facetime will allow the both of you to share something a bit more than … um … how your day went 😉

PRO: The iPhone camera is consistently awesome … no hoping and praying required

The other edge of the sword when it comes to Android’s diversity of choice it that there is no universal set of hardware requirements from HTC to Samsung to LG.

The end result: some are amazing state of the art units, while others are pieces of dog shart, barely capable of producing a result better than potato quality.

With the iPhone, all cameras in every unit is the same high-quality part that we’ve all come to expect from products bearing the Apple logo.

Apple Music has no free ad-supported option

Love your music to be free-ish (as in, available for no cost with the occasional commercial break) like it always has been on the radio?

With the iPhone, you don’t have this choice, as you are forced to download music at your own expense from the iTunes store. Commies or freeloading hippies need not apply.

CON: Apple Maps is unbelievably brutal compared to Google Maps

Heading out on a road trip to your brother’s fraternity chapter the next state over?

May God help you if you’re relying on Apple Maps, a utility so bad that it has led users to to drive out into the heart of the middle of freaking nowhere (the Australian Outback in one infamous example) in search of their destinations, or to drive across a runway at Fairbanks International Airport in Alaska in a misguided bid to reach the main terminal building.

You can upload Google Maps instead, but it isn’t native on Apple devices, which means Siri can’t help you with your directions vocally as you pilot your vehicle towards good times.

photo by CC user janitors on Flickr

Android: The digital age’s equivalent of the Swiss Army Knife OR geeky Apple wannabe?

PRO: You can use many Androids as a remote control

Many Androids (HTC and LG, among others) have an infrared laser array on the top of their units, allowing them to have apps designed that can turn them into a universal remote control. The iPhone currently lacks this functionality, forcing you to use your TV remote like a caveman.

PRO: You don’t need to use Apple’s proprietary hardware, making for easy replacements

You plug in your charger, only to notice that the plastic/rubber around the live wires is starting to fray.

If you are an Apple customer, you are held hostage to Apple customer support, which can take weeks to ship you a new part if they don’t have it in stock at your nearest Apple Store (and if they do … bend over, because you won’t be getting it for cheap).

Meanwhile, Android phones use the micro USB cable to charge their devices, a part which is readily available online and at electronics stores. Hardware crises become minor annoyances with Android phones.

CON: Many models cram their phones full of bloatware

One of the most annoying aspects of purchasing an Android is the bloatware, or the software pre-installed by phone manufacturers that they narcissistically believe that you can’t possibly live without.

All it does is take up space that you’d rather use to store cat pics, and slow down the overall performance of your unit. There are many guides out there that will help you remove it, but iPhones don’t suffer from this problem, so that’s certainly a point in their favor.

CON: The latest apps take months or even years to migrate to Android from the iPhone

While both phone standards have an impressive library of apps, both developers prefer to work with the iPhone interface first due to its ease of use when they are programming the darn thing.

Only after it has become a success on this platform does it migrate to Android; a prime example is Instagram, which took 2 years to find its way to the likes of Samsung and LG from the iPhone. Yuck!

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